Breaking Life's Barriers
Adviice's coaches are professionals that are able to help you if you’re struggling to break many of the natural barriers in life, whether self-imposed or not.
With particular respect to this article, certified coaches can help you to recognise when you're encountering the wall, help you to find your why (personally or professionally), guide you into becoming an accountable being, and plan the first, most important small steps towards success.
Encountering The Wall
When we are passionate about a vision, for what we can believe we can achieve; we embark on a very personal journey. This journey is personal for two reasons: almost the entirety of the process will be done alone, and the journey itself is completely unique to you.
Starting your pursuit is brave, courageous, and a commitment to self-belief. Yes, those early months have their lows and moments of doubt, but you grow in continued confidence as you progress.
There is the popular notion that this journey has its highs and lows, and anything worthwhile takes time. Both are very true, but something spoken about far less is the “wall” that appears on our journey.
The wall is a point that transcends moments of doubt. It is intensive doubt, a feeling that hurts, where you feel as though the past year of working towards your vision has been driven solely by self-perception and inspiration. Is it possible? Can I keep doing this?
When you hit this wall, have the courage to collect yourself and go again. This is a moment for reflection and resilience - you do not need to discard your vision. Reflect on your positive work so far and see how you can make suitable adjustments to keep working forward. Try to focus a little less on the long-term targets. Break your vision down into steps, working towards one at a time. By doing so, you will find better clarity in your pursuit - likely helping you to live in the present and keep a smile!
Have the courage to work through the wall. The struggle of endurance, consistency, and self-belief is far less daunting than the feeling of discarding your pursuit. Small moments of fulfillment, one step at a time, working towards your vision. Meeting the wall is a testament to chasing a vision – but breaking through the wall is a tribute to your internal strength.
“Just underneath your breaking point lies your true strength.”
Find Your Why
Hobby. The English Cambridge Dictionary defines 'hobby' as an activity that someone does for pleasure when they are not working.
We should all have a hobby, multiple of them in fact. You cannot misconstrue the importance of having a hobby. Allowing yourself some time for pleasure, getting lost in whatever it may be, providing a well-deserved breather from the hectic norms of day-to-day life. Only the inevitable Covid link to follow.
What a weird time to be living through. If you’re brave enough (or even allowed) to go out, hand-sanitiser stations are ever-present, and almost everyone is sporting face masks - some far more fashionable than others.
In this complex paradigm of life, we all currently find ourselves in, there is no reason to not continue the actions of our previous hobbies. Where most are still feasible, if not to the full extent, often partly, and in the case of restrictions prohibiting action altogether, this should only provide a reason and opportunity to take up a new hobby. Hobbies provide the chance to gain new skills and deepen our understanding and appreciation for said skills. The fact this may often be within a minute facet of life only makes it more entertaining.
It can be as easy to neglect our mental health and general wellbeing as it is to forget about the hobby you were just picking up previous to the forever-ghastly date of 23rd March 2020, when the first lockdown came about. In my opinion, these two go hand-in-hand. If you have something that you’re seriously interested in and/or thoroughly enjoy, you still have something to look forward to - in a time particularly where the consensus is that there is nothing to look forward to. And, this is the case no matter whether you get round to it once a day, or once a week. The anticipation for this upcoming venture will make the more difficult hours we all experience, go faster, and subconsciously affect our entire feelings and emotions.
Now, some of you may be reading this and thinking ‘I like the sound of it, but I don’t know what my hobby could be? Help!’ Well, to you, I will offer a few questions that may help you figure such out:
When was the last time you laughed so hard that it hurt?
What has been a moment in recent times where you felt a deep appreciation for life or nature?
Have you ever sought discomfort from trying your hand at something previously unfamiliar, or ‘unlike you’?
Ask yourself these questions above, and I’m confident you’ll come to a conclusion regarding what it is that makes you tick and ‘Find your why.’
Tackling the Flinch
What is the one thing standing in between you and your greatest dreams?
Perhaps it is not the lack of knowledge or skill that holds us back, but the hundreds of self-doubting moments that paralyze us from taking action. Too often, many of us avoid challenges that will truly support our growth. The mind can be quite the persuader. The task ahead is too challenging, too daunting – simply too much.
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." Bill Cosby
They call it the Flinch. An interesting concept that I came across recently, by Julian Smith. The Flinch is referred to as that moment you tense, seize up or hold your breath – just before doing the very thing you are apprehensive about.
In our daily lives, it is likely that we will not experience anything dangerous at all. Life is often very safe - but are we simply flinching? We all ‘flinch’ to avoid the danger of the unknown, of the bear hiding in the bush. But our modern world has little risk of bears; our flinching holds us back.
In reality, we do not flinch at bears, because there simply are none in sight! But we do flinch at the prospect of speaking publicly or joining a gym. Flinching guards us against the unexpected, being one of the few instincts we are born with, and keep, for the rest of our lives. To truly learn we must do. The habitual flincher never experiences anything that might hurt her, and never learns anything important, or indeed worthwhile. If we can retrain ourselves to ‘flinch-forward’ and face our fears, our lives can and will change.
"Do the uncomfortable and it will widen your circle of comfort."
Start by doing something as simple as a cold shower. You will be standing there, about to make the jump in. I bet you ask yourself some serious questions as to why you’re doing this. And as you take that first step, you will flinch. That big presentation, again you might flinch just before entering that room. But by doing things that give you this feeling, and doing them consistently, soon you will be able to tackle more difficult challenges with less apprehension; with belief that you can tackle all and work towards achieving what is most important to you. You don't have to overcome fear, you simply must learn to face it.
The greatest threat to progress is complacency. By putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, you will learn how to face challenges head-on. Start by taking cold showers, facing daily exercise, and tackling that presentation – looking to build outward from here. Great things await those who face fear, challenge the flinch, and chase what they love.
Accountability: Yours To Own
To take ownership, and to be accountable. A trait sometimes lost, but always worth the find.
The mindset of one who is accountable is to take control of life, and of what is important. Not only is accountability a wonderful trait that can inspire true fulfilment, but it is also a mindset that can be developed - even if we have been guilty of not taking responsibility in the past!
Those who have embarked on the quest for happiness understand that an important moment is to take full responsibility and ownership. Here there is a truth which elsewhere is hard to find: Our happiness is as much dependant on our attitude, as it is on the situations that arise.
To blame others is to shy away. And to shy away from is to be oblivious to potential, and to the path for personal happiness. It is our choice to ensure that our thoughts, words, and actions are working together in a positive fashion. We can all do more to diligently reflect on such, and accept the challenge of personal accountability. Our lives have mountaintops and valleys – but regardless of such times, clarity and confidence await those that are accountable. They have the ability to see given situations as the opportunity for growth, taking the lessons learnt into the future, with newfound understanding and leadership.
With an accountability mindset, you can have the courage to face challenges, find solutions, and build towards a life of fulfilment. As it was once taught to me: no challenge too great, no hurdle too high, with calmness and poise – those accountable can thrive.
"On one side of accountability is courage, on the other is freedom."
Small Steps Today; Inspiring A Better Tomorrow
You may have heard it before and you may believe it to be a cliche - but what if small steps are the key to long-lasting change?
When we think of a change, we often associate it with a drastic shift in behaviour, lifestyle, or mindset. It may often feel like this, and although there should be a long-term vision for what change will bring, we should focus on the small things we can do. The smaller steps, in the right direction.
To begin with these smaller steps, there must be a willingness within to change. Perhaps you are looking to improve the direction of your career, excel as an academic, or improve your lifestyle or find spiritual purpose. Whichever the case may be, you have found your way to Adviice, to this blog. As such, consciously or unconsciously, you may be looking to make a change today - that first step forward.
We are committed to supporting this initial step - connecting you to an individual whose wisdom and experience can support you in any area of life. These meaningful conversations can initiate the small changes, directing you on a path towards positive, lasting change.
Our experts are selected with care; our recommendations are made with thought, and our blogs are written with the small steps in mind. We’re here to build a community and support your pursuit of personal happiness.
So let us take small steps today; to inspire a better tomorrow.