Life

How a Secure Identity Accelerates the ‘Rebuilding Your Life Process’

Secure Identity

Annecha

Personal Development and Mindset Coach

Personal Development and Mindset Coach

I’ve noted over the years that negative words spoken have the power to skew your thoughts about who you truly are. This can be especially detrimental in intimate relationships where verbal abuse or emotional/ psychological manipulation exists. 


Recalibrating the true you after exiting these kinds of negative experiences is a solid foundation on which to begin rebuilding. If the foundation is right the structure may be erected quickly in tandem with a strategic growth blueprint. 


Understanding self, your beliefs, values, purpose, life goals and so on make decision making and decisiveness easier. It also increases momentum and motivation. This in turn helps make rebuilding a speedier process. Sadly, there are times in life when misfortunes strike. Unfortunate circumstances occur that require you to rebuild your life. This may come from investing in a relationship that did not work, investing in a career to please others that you may have had to walk away from to follow your authentic you. It may be from being betrayed by a business partner or parting ways with a friend or loved one to subdue conflict, just like Abraham had to part ways with Lot, Genesis 13:5-13. Whatever the reason rebuilding your life may become a priority reality. 


A secure sense of self, flowing from that created place inside your heart, which guides you to what is good and right, can shave years off the ‘rebuilding your life process’. If you do not yet feel confident in your identity, it may be worthwhile to address this, possibly via accessing coaching and reap the benefits of saving time as you navigate the new. In a past job role, I supported women and children survivors of domestic abuse and witnessed how much they invested in rebuilding their lives. 


I’ve been blessed to journey alongside them and have seen first hand how taking the time to establish that secure identity can help in the rebuilding process. Formulating the beliefs and cultivating the mindset needed to redesign their lives is no small feat! Hats off and abundant respect to all women who have risen above the effects of domestic abuse, shaken off that life-sucking serpent, and have progressed with their lives. 


To those progressing along that journey, keep pressing to renew your mind and regain wholeness. With time you too will join in the success stories of the others who overcame and reconstructed their lives. Complete the work of understanding your identity and live courageously from this secure space of the real, healed resilient you. Wholeness, emotional wellbeing and peace is worth it!” 


So a few months after accessing our Domestic Abuse Support Programme, I witnessed one mother who was relocated getting on successfully with her life. I was passing through that community and stopped to get nibbles for my journey. She had collected her son from school and as I walked behind them I overheard as they chatted about the day happily. It was her familiar voice that caught my attention. She paused the conversation and gave him instructions about what was safe and what she expected when he went into the shop. It was lovely to see her utilising effective parenting skills; boundary setting, communications skills as well as the choice and art of being present with her child as they progressed along. I was thrilled that they had rebuilt their lives and was pursuing a peaceful, stress regulated existence. As I drove I reflected on her journey in the programme and saw that taking time to clarify who she is and the value she holds really paid off. Powerful questions that help you to delve deep into who you truly are and articulating these as well as having them articulated back to you, can be dynamic in unlocking and embedding the secure true identity. Not the identity imposed on you by others. It allows you to truly hear yourself. Being able to see things from new and varied perspectives is also markedly impactful as you wrestle for the authentic you to take precedence. This makes me recall how vulnerable the initial stages of rebuilding can be. 


Here are 3 steps to functioning from a place of wholeness until your secure identity is fully embedded:


1. Pause and clarify your beliefs around your identity. 


Write these down so you can review them from time to time. Among other questions you may need to clarify, “Who am I? Where did I come from? What does that mean concerning my purpose and my contribution to my world?" The importance of this step cannot be overstated. 


2. Stand guard at the door of your mind. 


Bar every thought that comes in which will not serve your new self well. These may want to creep in if you are stressed, overwhelmed or are navigating a transition. Dismantle limiting beliefs then live intentionally from your more empowering beliefs. If you encounter blindspots, access coaching to help with unlocking greater awareness and clarity while exploring beliefs from new perspectives. Resilience and vigilance is key, especially in the initial stages. 


3. Dodge incongruence. 


Resolve each day to ensure your inner world matches the outer world so that the life you lead, aligns with beliefs and values deposited within you by the Creator. Purpose to to bring the Creator pleasure, by enjoying each day, rocking out in your authentic you! I’ve noted over the years that negative words spoken have the power to skew your thoughts about who you truly are. This can be especially detrimental in intimate relationships where verbal abuse or emotional/ psychological manipulation exists. Recalibrating the true you after exiting these kinds of negative experiences is a solid foundation on which to begin rebuilding. If the foundation is right the structure may be erected quickly in tandem with a strategic growth blueprint. 


Understanding self, your beliefs, values, purpose, life goals and so on make decision making and decisiveness easier. It also increases momentum and motivation. This in turn helps make rebuilding a speedier process. Embracing the right decisions for you, does not have to be a matter of trial and error or melange of what others have done. 


But can actually be from a place inside you that knows what is right for you. Will following this inner guide impact how quickly you could potentially rebuild? Yes. Will it be effortless or possibly sacrifice-free? No. With everything you have to do the work. But with the right foundation and support, rebuilding can be a much faster process. 


I help women who are seeking increased emotional and spiritual wholeness design a blueprint to a fulfilling life through one to one and small group coaching.

Annecha

Personal Development and Mindset Coach

Personal Development and Mindset Coach

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