Life

Living a life of Purpose Part 2

Living A Life Of Purpose

Dean

Peak Performance Coach

Peak Performance Coach

Hopefully part 1 got you thinking differently, literally! So, let’s take this to the next level. I want you to take responsibility for everything and I mean everything in your life! This is one of the most powerful mindsets you can apply when living a life of purpose, because what you need to realise is it’s only you that is the one standing in your way. It’s only you that can sabotage or hold you back from achieving your goals in life. 


If you think things happen to you that you have no control over, then to be honest you are at the mercy of those things. While you may not be able to control everything that happens to you, you are responsible for how you think, act, feel and most importantly how you react to things in life. When you admit to yourself that you are solely responsible for your life, then any goal that you want to achieve is within your control, and external circumstances don’t influence and control your fate as much. 


When something goes wrong, even if you can justify why, it was not your fault, then you give up control of the situation. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter whose fault it is. What happened, happened. The question now is: how are you going to react to it? Complaining is simply a focus on what is wrong. This will make things seem worse than they are, and can easily distract you from all the good things going on in your life. It’s about taking conscious control of your reactions to the events and circumstances in your life. Responsibility cannot be split either. If you “give” someone else any of the responsibility, you take it off yourself and it can then become an excuse to blame or complain about. So, focus on something positive, no matter how negative a situation you are in. 


From now on, look at the choices you have available to you instead of feeling you are restricted in some way. Don’t be afraid to take risks or make important decisions. Don’t be afraid to mess up, even though it can be “scary” to take responsibility for your actions. An important part of taking responsibility for what you are creating in your life, is learning to become an observer. This means being aware enough of yourself so that you can step outside of an emotional upset or heated situation to observe how you are reacting to it. It means having a level of self-awareness that even when you’re in the middle of a conflict you are aware of how you are in the situation. Observing a situation seems easier when we’re doing it for someone else. We’ve all experienced this. 


A friend comes to you and is upset about something that is happening in their life. You remind them to take a deep breath, and you start to calmly ask questions about their situation. You don’t react or, start crying, and join them in their meltdown; because in this situation you are the observer. You are not emotionally triggered therefore you are able to see the situation with clarity. Your friend is too emotionally heated to observe rather than react. Much like your friend, when you react to intense emotions, there is no space between your thoughts for you to problem solve in a productive and skilled way. When you’re not acting as the Observer, it feels as though things are happening to you as opposed to you being a part of what it happening. 


Now imagine being calm enough to connect with your problem-solving mind while experiencing a challenging situation? In taking on the role of the observer you can actually start seeing and noticing some incredibly things about yourself and the life you are creating. You gain a deeper understanding of what drives you, and what distracts your awareness and draws you to respond in a different way. With this clarity you’ll find expansion and space. When you become the observer, you increase your understanding of your reactions and eventually you will no longer be at the mercy of old ways of thinking or reacting. 


The more you observe yourself and those around you without judgment the more self-awareness you create. Once you understand why you respond a certain way, you are now in a position to make a different choice. I find that if you can exercise this ability, it will lead to some of the most important information that you will learn about why you are the way you are and how you are being in the world. This knowledge creates the choice to change what you don’t like and attract more of what you do like. 


So, lets finish part 2 with a simple tool to apply whenever life offers you an opportunity to observe yourself. 


1. Ask yourself “is this emotion/thought/feeling/action serving me and worth holding on to?” 


Take a moment to be present, – this action of reflection will not only help you make better choices but, with time and repetition, you won’t react the same way to situations, which will have a knock-on effect in what opportunities life offers you. 


2. Silence your inner critic. 


When you begin to mentally detach from situations to observe, try to silence any negative thoughts, which will try to draw you back into the situation, which is very common when you first start working with this concept. When these thoughts come up, recognise them and just simply observe. 


3. Don’t be too loud and proud. 

 

The same way you must silence your inner critic, you must also not let your ego get too inflated. The aim here isn’t to condemn or praise yourself, but to simply become quietly aware. Regret is a key player in self-observation. We always wish we could have done, said or approached things differently. So, learn to let go of feelings of regret and be grateful for any and all lessons learnt. 


Dean - Peak Performance Coach The aim of working with me is to help you find the clarity you need to perform at the highest levels consistently.

Dean

Peak Performance Coach

Peak Performance Coach

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