Why The Ability To Say 'No' is Essential To Your Growth
If you are in a company, which is only made up of yes people, then you're never in a position to see what's not working, because people just keep saying yes to whatever you request independently, whether it's working or not.
Why does this happen? Well, it's likely that you work within a hierarchy where those at the top are so used to saying yes, in their own lives, that they've created a culture where there’s something wrong, if you say no.
Saying no is powerful. Saying no is actually what provides an opportunity for you to grow. It provides opportunity for you to grow as a human being, because sometimes it simply does not work to say yes.
If common sense can allow you to see that makes sense in your own personal life, then it’s not much of a stretch for you to see that it makes sense in your work life as well.
Usually what you see when there is a culture of yes, and no is frowned upon, is a misalignment between agreement and expectations.
People are getting upset, when something's not being done at the time when they want it to be done. But there actually hasn't been any agreement created in the first place.
They've just created an expectation, not told anyone else that they have this expectation, and then be disappointed when the thing would didn't get done when they weren't.
This is just a fundamental core of relationship building in any form of relationship. And it is what’s missing in forming partnership in any form of relationship. It is why – when I teach my system for transforming the realms of leadership, communication, and performance – partnership is an essential element of creating effective communication.
Any time there is a misalignment between your expectations and what is actually agreed upon, there is going to be upset, frustration, and disappointment.
Does any of this sound familiar?
So what can you do? It's very simple. You create agreement. When there's agreement, you've actually created some sense of reality. You are not living in a story and you're not living in a view of your expectations. You're living in something which both parties, or all parties are privy to. And so then if the agreement isn't met, there's a conversation that can be had about what happened that the agreement was not fulfilled.
If you want to positively impact your performance and the culture of your organisation, them get straight with yourself. Is there anywhere I have created an expectation where there is no agreement?
And if there is acknowledge that with yourself and then with your team. Imagine what would be possible if you got curious about the impact misaligning agreement with expectations has truly had. Imagine how connected your team would be if you are the example of what taking responsibility looks like.
Having agreement also provides an opportunity to own when you are not going to do something by the time you stated. What does this allow? First, the person counting on you is not left wondering what is going on. Two, you have the opportunity to honour the agreement even if you cannot keep your word around the original time by when it was done.
What usually happens is that people seek to explain and justify themselves. But in reality this is all noise which takes away from getting to the source of what happened in the first place. When you get to the source of what happened, and you become present to a pattern of repeated behaviour, there is an opportunity to transform your performance.
If you want to transform your leadership, communication, and performance start by looking at where there is a misalignment between agreement and expectations. And if you want to go deeper and work with someone who has transformed these areas in their own life, whose lifeblood depends on mastering these realms, and who works daily with leaders to transform these realms, then book a call today.
My commitment is that there be no limits. Are you ready for the challenge?
If you would like the opportunity to work with a world class coach, who contributes to the most cutting edge work in effective leadership, and whom has worked for leaders who have impacted tens of millions of lives, then book a call today.