Spotting and Closing Unwanted Opened Doors 4 Learned Helplessness
When was the door of learned helplessness opened in your life?
Was it during childhood, at the onset of a challenging relationship, or the n~th time in the past when it seemed you had failed at something?
Feeling helpless, when you are not because you were helpless in the past, is termed as learned helplessness. So the thought may have been, “I can’t do anything about this, it won’t ever change.” Sadly, that thought may have unconsciously been carried over into your life now as well as leaked into other areas of your life.
Result? There may be passivity and inactivity towards seeking change because you may believe the parameters of your circumstances are still the same?
Ok, raised awareness you say, so now what? Act. The sooner you can spot this door and take action to close it the better, as this one can have detrimental effects on stress levels and mental wellbeing.
Visit the other side of the coin. Move from learned helplessness to learned optimism.
Monitor words were spoken over you that may encourage disempowerment, e.g. “ You can’t do that well, let me do it for you”… or, Don't waste time doing that, “I’m here, I will always do it for you.” If you always allow others to do ‘x’ or ‘y’ thing for you, you may be giving your power away and undermining the flourishing of your confidence in that area.
A woman I listened to recently explained how terribly confused she was when her husband passed away, because he did everything regarding their home, investments, finances, etc., and she had no clue what to do or what to secure when he passed away. He did everything.
Additionally, monitor covert and overt attitudes, and behaviours designed to possibly, keep you dependent. It may be hard to spot, or may even be over, but you may be unconsciously colluding with such attitudes, words, or behaviours, even after the original stimuli are gone.
Be open to the idea of deep coaching, this may help you identify and break negative patterns and create responses that are right for you. It’s all about reinventing yourself. Thanks to learned optimism and neuroplasticity.
What have you been putting off because you’ve possibly had negative encounters with it in the past? Keep in mind, seasons change, and the outcome of your efforts can be different. If you enmesh with learned helplessness, you may self-sabotage. It’s all about reinventing you. Creating a new mental script that eradicates learned helplessness and reinforces learned optimism. Placing you in a position of confidence and personal power.
It took endurance applied liberally, to forge through what you could not change. Is it possible that if you apply your endurance to cultivating new thoughts, new skills, new behaviours, new perceptions, or whatever ‘new’ that you want, you could have new positive outcomes?
Focus on what will bring you joy. It’s all about reinventing you.
Image courtesy of Matt Barnard
Christian Co-Creative Transformation Coach.
High-achievers who have invisible roadblocks work with me to gain clarity, become unstuck, take action and thrive, while increasing emotional and spiritual wholeness.